As you may know I’ve been filming some coaching demos for IIN that they’ll be using in their Coaching Intensive Practicum course.
It’s been such an amazing experience to step up my game and get some great feedback.
What I’m being reminded of, during this process, is that coaching is not so much about getting it right or following a certain technique or coaching methodology.
The team keeps reassuring me, “It doesn’t have to be perfect, just be natural, go with the flow.”
Yes of course they want me to demonstrate certain coaching skills. But there’s something else that makes coaching effective.
It’s when the coach provides empathy, unconditional positive regard and is authentic and genuine.
One of my teachers and mentors, Michael Arloski calls these the facilitative conditions of coaching.
It’s the way of being as a coach versus the doing. Sometimes in coaching this is referred to as coaching presence.
It’s all about each of us finding our own unique way to be with our clients and creating the conditions, holding the space that allow them to open up and experience growth and change.
7 tips for how to BE in the coaching relationship:
- We meet our clients where they’re at
- We notice and observe but we don’t judge
- We accept they are on a journey of growth
- We put ourself in their shoes and see the world from their perspective
- We’re sincere, heart-centred and authentic
- We create a foundation of trust and safety
- We truly hear, see and understand our clients
Arloski summaries it nicely. He says,
"The coaching relationship is the heart and soul of the coaching process. A competent coach has skills, techniques, tools and methodology to help their client on their journey, but it is their way of being that is the crucial difference.”
For me this is a very comforting and relieving reminder that as long as I'm creating these conditions and showing up like this, then I'm doing a good job as a coach.
Hope you can take comfort in this knowing as well and let go of some of the pressure to have to have it all figured out before you start coaching.
Over to you: Which are you better at? The being or the doing as a health coach? Tell me in the comments...